The road to Montana

I have yet to write about what’s really been going on in my life recently – at last I feel at liberty to do so … and here it goes.

So much has happened in our lives the past 2 months as we’ve been in the process of trying to answer the question – “what should we do with our lives?” Although we’ve been unable to answer that question, we have decided where we want to live … doing whatever it is we might be doing.

As you know, we have both been doing full-time, support-based ministry for quite some time now. Steve spent 4 years with CCC as a single and I spent 6 years with YWAM as a single and now 6 years as a married couple with CCC. These years have been some of the richest, fullest years of our lives, mixed with more challenges and trials than I care to remember.

Recently we have felt that our time in support-based ministry was coming to an end. We have been unsure as to what God would have for us. Steve has thought that if he continued on the same path, he wanted to go to seminary to get more training in order to be more effective in ministry. However, after visiting 2 seminaries and looking at our financial situation and life with 2 little ones … the numbers just don’t work. We want to live a life of faith and trust in God to do the miraculous. On the other hand, we want to live out the wisdom he has given us. We are blessed financially – but not loaded! =)

So what does all this mean? As you’ve probably gathered by now, thorough my previous posts … we have decided not to go to seminary for the sake of our marriage, kids and financial situation. We don’t want to have Steve graduate in 4 years and have nothing left in the bank – never mind that we will have been paying rent for 4 years.

As you also know, we love Montana. There is no place we have enjoyed living or want to live in more than Montana. So, after deciding that seminary just wasn’t going to work for our family – we have decided to move to Montana and see what God has in store for us. “That’s crazy” we have been told by some – but we feel a sense of relief and excitement. It’s a new area for us to entrust our lives into the hands of our loving Heavenly Father.

So, we embark on the next season of our lives. The pages blank, waiting to be written upon. We anticipate nothing short of God’s perfect plan unfolding before us. We know He is in every decision of our lives and nothing is outside of His control. So, we surrender ourselves to Him. We covet your prayers during this new season in our lives.

Family - there's no one quite like 'em!

Quality book reading time with Grandpa Himes.

Landon - up to no good at the grandparents.

At last - some time at the pool! No more boxes to pack and we can finally play.

I'm thankful to be with my parents while Steve is in Montana. Without them, I wouldn't be sitting at starbucks right now writing on this here blog.

Buffalo

Buffalo - I must be in Montana. No, actually I'm in a suburb of Denver, go figure! =)

Shiloh and her great-aunt Judy. She wanted to be a big helper and take down the curtains in Landon's bedroom.

Homeless!

We have now closed on our house and are between houses for about a month.
Right now I am staying with my parents while Steve is driving all of our earthly possessions in a UHaul truck to ...

KALISPELL, MONTANA!

Yes, after much discussion and what not - -
we have decided to move back to Montana.

So, until he comes again to get me and the kids, we will play in the pool and with the grandparents.

Then we will camp through Wyoming and Montana ...
before arriving n Kalispell sometime near the end of August.

Keep reading for more details ...
and photos to follow too.

Feeling fully alive!

"When I think of the incredible, incomprehensible sweep of creation above me, I have the strange reaction of being fully alive. Rather than feeling lost and unimportant and meaningless, set against galaxies which go beyond the reach of the furthest telescopes, I feel that my life has meaning. Perhaps I should feel insignificant, but instead I feel a soaring in my hear that the God who could create all this can still count the hairs on my head."
--The Irrational Season by Madeline L'Engle - a quote in Bringing Heaven Down to Earth by Nathan Bierma.

Record Breaker

As the truck arrives today and only a few boxes remain to be packed, I can't help but think - we've been in this house longer than any other apartment or house preceeding this one. Married for nearly 8 years, our record is 2 years 8 months! (I think the shortest record is 2 months) We've loved this house - as it has brought many changes and much joy to our lives. With joy, we look forward to the road ahead. With sadness, we say goodbye to this house and the life we've had while living in it.

Trying to follow God

Why is it so difficult to follow God? We want nothing more than to be right where He wants us to be. But sometimes it's just not all that clear.

Most of my thought process goes to the fact that God has created us in His image and our purpose in this life is to be conformed into the image of His Son. It's more about "being" than "doing." Yet somewhere in there, it also seems that God also has specific things He wants us to do. This has been our wrestle with God lately ... wanting to DO what He wants us to do. But also wanting to just BE and embrace the journey of being and conforming.

So, here we are at a major crossroads. We know our time at the Air Force Academy is done. We have completed what we came here to do - God has done in us what He wanted to while we were here. So, we stand on the threshold of another chapter of our lives ... awaiting with eager anticipation what He has in store for us.

Meanwhile, the stress of packing and moving has us a bit crazy around here. Not to mention, the challenge of trying to engage with my kids and be there for them - and not just plowing through my list of things to do. There is so much to do ... but my kids need me now more than usual, as their world is being turned upside down and they too are stressed.

So today is a day I've set aside for my kids ... off to Focus we go to play and have lunch out - two of their favorite things to do.

The truck comes on Monday - so until then, we will continue to pack boxes like crazy people until every last thing is loaded on that truck. Thankfully, we have a week after closing to just hang out in Colorado and spend time with our friends and family.

Alas - the chaos of moving is about to end ... and the chaos of getting settled somewhere new is about to begin. We stand on the threshold - may God use our willingness to embrace this new season to work in our lives and further conform us into the image of His precious Son!

From home to house! =(

After taking all the pictures off the walls, our home is now a house. Amazing how quickly that happens! =(










Set up the tent in the backyard for some entertainment, as Steve took the swingset apart. Besides, we're going to be camping for a week or ten days ... and neither of my kids have even seen a tent until yesterday.

Lollipops - messy but lots of fun and a bit of entertainment.

It's the end of the world as we know it ...

Or at least the end of our world as WE know it.

We sent out a newsletter to all of our partners this week, so I can finally write about what's been going on right here on this blog.

Ok here goes - we have felt for quite some time that our time here in Colorado Springs is coming to an end. We've been looking at every possible option under the sun. This has been a struggle for us - feeling like we want to do something else, but not knowing what the next thing might be. So, we have chosen to stay put. Five years later - it is time to go!

We decided to list our house - thinking that it would take a minimum of 2 months to sell. We wanted to see if God would lead us elsewhere through the sale of our home. FIVE days later, THREE showings and TWO offers - we had a contract on our house. This is significant, as houses in our neighborhood have been on the market for months and months!

But this new journey we would be going on was just in it's beginning stages ... if only we knew. We have considered options for our next "job" than I will even begin to share. Seminary has been on our minds for quite some time and Steve has had an interest in getting an MDiv to further his path in ministry. But we have also been torn, b/c we don't know if we want to continue in full-time ministry. Support raising is a tension - God has blessed us with great support, but we don't want to do it for the next 20 years. Even if we didn't have to raise support to continue in ministry, we just aren't sure we want to keep doing more of the same.

So, we visited Montana (a job offer at a Christian school that fell through), Phoenix Seminary and just got home last night from visiting Mars Hill Grad school in Seattle. I think it's safe to say that we are more confused now than ever. We like Seattle and Mars Hill - but were totally shocked by housing prices! Living on support-based income, we were in awe of what that lifestlye choice would bring us! We were looking at 2-bedroom, 1 or 2-bathroom apartments, no more than 1,000 square feet for $1,100.00! Not to mention, the neigborhoods were less than desirable for living with two young children. "We must be out of our minds!" and "How are we going to afford this?" seemed to be the repeated phrases of the trip.

So, we are home again, enjoying our very large house (compared to those apartments) for another 2 weeks. Meanwhile, we are again weighing 0ut our options, trying to decide if we indeed want to live in slumsville in Seattle to go to grad school - only to graduate with no money to our names! Not too sure this is the best idea for us - and not sure it's wise, considering we have kiddos.

For now, we'd appreciate your prayers as we make a major decision in the next week - we need wisdom, peace and clarity. It's always a crazy ride trying to follow God. This next season in our lives is no different!

Celebration of Discipline - The path to spiritual growth

If you haven't read this book yet - stop right now, get it an read it! It's worth every second!

Here's some quotes from his chapter on the discipline of solitude ...

"all those who open their mouths, close their eyes!"

"Under the discipline of silence and solitude we learn when to speak and when to refrain from speaking."

"It is easier to be silent altogether than to speak with moderation ... control is the key."

"If we are silent when we should speak, we are not living in the discipline of silence. If we speak when we should be silent, we again miss the mark."

"One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel so helpless. We are so accustomed to relying on words to mange and control other. If we are silent, who will take control? God will take control, but we will never let Him take control until we trust Him. Silence is intimately related to trust."

"The tongue is our most powerful weapon of manipulation. A frantic stream of words flows from us because we are in a constant process of adjusting our public image. We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us that we talk in order to straighten out their understanding... Silence is one of the deepest disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on all self-justification."

"Let's discipline ourselves so that our words are few and full. Let's become known as people who have something to say when we speak."

"The fruit of solitude is increased sensitivity and compassion for others. There comes a new freedom to be with people. There is new attentiveness to their needs, new responsiveness to their hurts."

The name of God

I've been reading "Simply Christian - Why Christianity Makes Sense" by N. T. Wright. It has been compared to C. S. Lewis's "Mere Christianity". I've been reflecting on what I read this morning...

"At some point along the way - it's hard to be sure historically when exactly this happened - the ancient Israelites came to know their God by a special name.

This name was regarded as so special, so holy, that by the time of Jesus, and perhaps for some centuries before that, they were not allowed to say it out loud. (One exception was made: the high priest, once a year, would pronounce God's special name n a place called the Holy of Holies at the heart of the temple.) Since Hebrew script only used consonants, we can't even be sure how the name was meant to be pronounced: the consonants are YHWH, and the best guess we have at how they were pronounced is "Yahweh." Orthodox Jews to this day won't speak this name; they often refer to God simply as "the Name," HaShem. Neither will they write it. Sometimes they write even the generic word "God" as "G-d," to make the same point.

Like most ancient names, YHWH had a meaning. It seems to have meant "I am who I am," or "I will be who I will be." This God, the name suggests, can't be defined in terms of anything or anyone else..."

Now this was not new to me - and probably isn't new to you. But I was deeply convicted reading this. I was convicted b/c often I am found guilty of being frustrated, even angry at God from time to time. In my frustration, I lose sight of His holiness and the fact that "He is who He is," and "He will be who He will be."

Who am I to challenge God and the way He chooses to work in my life or the lives of those around me? Who am I to think I have any right to be frustrated or angry at Him? Shame on me! Shame on me when I don't bend my knee in worship of the One Who Is ... regardless of what He chooses to do or not do in my life! Shame on me when I utter "the Name" in any other attitude but humble, reverent worship!

Happy 4th!

We had a great time camping. It rained most of the afternoon yesterday - and the better part of today too. Yet, all this rain and there is still a fire burning ban. So, no campfire for us. But we still had a great time ... talking all night long. Nothing like a night out with the girls, especially my mom and sister - 2 of my dearest friends!

Went for a long hike this morning and had a picnic lunch on the way home in Woodland park.

It's always great to see my babies - it's amazing how even 24 hours away from them makes me love and appreciate them all over again.

Shiloh and I watched the Academy fireworks from my kitchen. It was her first time seeing fireworks ... "green, red, blue, purple.." she had a great time!

Now it's off to bed I go.

Camping!

Steve is golfing this morning with a good friend.
Then this afternoon, I'm going to meet up with my mom and sister for a night of camping.
It's been far too long since I've been camping ...
and we just bought a 5-man tent that needs to be broken in! =)

Nothing like some good "girl time" an some time with my family that I don't often get w/o the kiddos with me.

Should be fun!
Although Steve may not have as much fun as I. Oh well, ya can't win 'em all! =)

1st day in the "pool"

Thought we'd make the most of another hot, dry 90 degree day! =)

Congratulations, Jodi!

Last night we celebrated Jodi! Five years ago, Jodi was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor. After surgery, chemo, hair loss ... the works ... God has healed Jodi! They were just at Duke where the doctor finally declared that she is cured! What an amazing work God has done in Jodi's life.

Why God chooses to heal one and not the other is beyond me! This question will never be answered in our lifetime. And so we weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. Today we are rejoicing with Jodi!!!