Billings - City Brew

Nothing like hanging out with old friends and sipping coffee at the local shoppe. The weather is perfect - crazy rain yesterday (which we haven't seen in AGES). The kids have friends to play with and we have some good fellowship.

Off to Flathead valley tonight.

Julie - I always thought you were crazy, driving through the night with your kiddos. However, we have now been seasoned and understand. The first night we slept in Douglass ... more like we laid in our beds, trying to sleep. $60 later and we were on the road at 6am... incredibly tired! So, tonight we're going to drive it straight through. We figure it can't be any worse - kids sleeping or maybe not in the car on the road. Better than flushing money down the 'ole toilet ... and no one is any more rested than when we arrived.

So - 8 hours of road time await us. And a good night sleep in the car??? Will see how it goes.

Montana - here we come!

Yes, we are about to embark on a journey to our favorite U.S. state - Montana. Steve will be taking his computer, so if I can steal away some time, I'll still be writing. But will be gone for 10 days - yep, we're driving. So you can pray for our sanity! =)

First stop - Douglas, Wyoming, then Billings, Montana followed by Butte, Montana and ending in our final destination - Lakeside, Montana. Will be there for 5 days then head back again. We're pretty excited! Besides, we get to see some dear friends!

Talk to you soon ...

Da Vinci Destruction

The Da Vinci Code may single-handidly do more destruction for Christianity than anything we've seen in recent years. After leaving the theatre, my stomach was in knots. I'm truly grieved ... Satan sure is creative and is succeeding at blinding the eyes of unbelievers.

I couldn't help but think of all the non-Christians who are going to see that movie and how easily they will be swayed to believe it! It makes a good argument and a good case against Christianity, one that will be difficult for us to refute.

Afterall, aren't we saved by FAITH? All of Christianity is based on FAITH. So, to try to argue against the message in the movie is frivilous. It's our word against theirs ... but we have FAITH. Faith is all we need ... we don't need proof, but we need to hold on tight to our faith.

Now more than ever, we need to pray the the Holy Spirit will be on the move and actively be revealing Himself to unbelievers. And may we as Christians live lives above reproach as we stand before unbelievers as witnesses of Jesus Christ.

Has anyone else seen it? Thoughts? Comments?

This body of death - Carry it well and carry it all the time

Andree Seu a senior writer for World Magazine writes in her May 6, 2006 column:

Paul wrote of being afflicted, crushed, perplexed, struck down and "always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies" (2 Corinthians 4:10). I want, with Paul, the moment-by-moment death working in me that allows Jesus' moment-by-moment life to shine. ... Carrying around death includes resisting the urge to talk too much. Beware of trying to get from people what you can only get from God. Your momentary indulgence will leave you feeling sullied, with your pain unabated. Keep grief clean. Remember too, even the friends who like you best spend no more than five minutes a day thinking of you. God thinks of you all the time; talk to Him.

"Beware of trying to get from people what you can only get from God." This includes my husband, kids, extended family ... far too often, I look to them to meet my needs and am only frustrated when they don't do just that! God's the only one responsible to meet my needs. May the One who endured death for the sake of relationship with me be the only One I look to, the only One for whom I'll carry death.

A day with my sweetie!

A day in Denver - watching a Rockies game w/ Steve... what could be better? The weather was perfect ... the clouds even rolled in before we couldn't take any more sun! =)

A coffee frappuccino on the drive home - a perfect end to the day.

I guess free babysitting is a great benefit to having Halley live with us. =)

I like my space - maybe a bit too much?

Ok, here's the deal - we asked a cadet girlfriend to move in here. She has been watching my kids once a week since January, so we know her pretty well. She was in a bad roommate situation - so we thought we'd give it a try. Afterall, we've often talked about having someone rent our guest room and then help out around the house and watch the kids occasionally.

It has only been 3 weeks and I'm done.

I've been thinking this through alot - trying to figure out what it is about having her here that I don't like. Yes, part of it is that her boyfriend is also here just about every free minute he has. Often times, they are hanging out in the basement during naptime - which is where I usually go during naptime (I can't hear the kids down there). Other times, they are doing laundry right when I need to do a load.

I don't want to say too many negative things about them here b/c I'm a part of the problem too. I just simply like my space! I like to do what I want, when I want, where I want - with noone in my way. Selfish? I try to tell myself that it's not being selfish. Instead I say it's b/c I'm a mom to 2 toddlers who wear me out. I need my space when they're asleep so I'm a better mom when they're awake. This may be true ...

but it is also true that I am downright selfish. I don't like to share my things and especially my space. I'm not sure what to do with this realization.

A new digital camera!

Steve got me a new digital camera for Mother's day! Oh, I've been having so much fun!
I'm thankful to be a mom - and thankful for Steve, he's a wonderful dad! Thanks, Steve!

Laundry tip?

Can anyone give me advice as to how I should go about getting grape juice out of a white tablecloth? I'd appreciate the help!

A bit of silver lining

I feel like I've been in a thunderstorm for a long time now! I've been looking for that silver lining, but it's just not showing up yet. So, I feel the need to paint it myself.

Here's a list of things for which I am grateful and I love deeply.

1. Steve - he loves me deeply and shows it well
2. Shiloh's 1st words of the day, "mommy, come get me."
3. Landon's leg hugs
4. 70 degree days!
5. Mountains - with a trace of new snow (yes, in May)
6. Taking my kids to the park
7. Coffee
8. My sister, who beats a path to see me far more frequently than I go to see her
9. My friend Joan - I love our times together!

10. Hugs and snuggles from my kids

11. Capri pants
12. A bowl of homeade popcorn and a good movie
13. Old friends who come visit when they're in town (thanks, Chet!)
14. Julie - you're always there
15. My parents who love me no matter what!
16. The smell of pine trees
17. Reading books with my kiddos
18. Date nites with Steve
19. Starbucks
20. A good book

Although I sometimes forget all these wonderful things in my life when I'm surrounded by dark clouds - I really do have a good life. I am blessed beyond words!

Emotional day!

I am an expert in the crying department. I am no good at holding back the tears, nor do I really try. Today, I shed ALOT of tears! Some extended family circumstances made this day almost more than I could bear. I was worthless as a mom and a wife. Although some good came out of a HUGE mess ... I'm still a mess.

I thank God for my husband who stood by me, held me tight and just let me cry. Without Steve, where would I be? God has truly blessed me with him. He sees all the dirt in my life (and there is an awful lot of dirt to see) and he loves me just the same.

I thank God that this mess didn't get any more out of control. I knew one day this would surface - I just didn't expect it today.

So with tear stained eyes and a very heavy heart, I trudge off to bed. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I'll hope for a bit of sunshine in my life tomorrow.

Grace - a blanket for sin

Sin. What an ugly thing.

Last night, I discovered that an old pastor of ours was removed from his position as pastor. He was having an "emotional affair" with another woman. Now, I don't know exactly what that means ... and I was under the impression that it was not a physical relationship, only emotional. Nevertheless, he had been warned about this relationship and challenged to step away from it. He continued in it and has now been disciplined for it.

This man has been a pastor for nearly 20 years! He has an international and local radio program. He became head pastor of a different church about a year ago.

Although he has admitted to his sin, repented and his wife has agreed to work on restoration, in the blink of an eye ... all of his years of ministry are stripped away from him! The church leaders decided to ask him to step down from his position as pastor. Along with him, his wife has been asked to step down from director of women's ministry. The radio program is no more ... internationally or locally. AND all of his teaching CDs past and present have been removed from our church bookstore. The denomination is no longer endorsing anything he has ever done during his 20 years of ministry.

Yuk! Uggg! Now I realize that this guy let himself get emotionally involved with another woman ... and there's no denying it was a wrong choice ... plain 'ole sinful behavior. But to take away everything?? Absolutely everything? I'm not sure what I think of that course of action ... in fact, I found myself in tears for him and his family. The tears were for his sin, but even more for the punishment that he is enduring!!!

Every one of us lives in sin. We make wrong choices and sin against God and each other. I don't know that I need say more, but I will end saying - grace, grace, grace ... we must be quick to extend grace, slow to judge and ready to forgive!

Home Alone 2

This is the last weekend of the school year that Steve will be gone ... off to Kansas with 12 cadet guys. It's always a fun weekend for them, riding horses, shooting guns, eating hobo stew around the campfire - very manly! But that leaves us home alone again. Will spend the evening with my family which will make the time pass more quickly.

I'm thankful that the end of the year is staring us in the face! Only one more week of ministry, then the cadets will delve into finals and start prep for graduation. It's crazy how fast this year has gone by. Our 5th year at the Academy ... and with 2 kiddos keeping us busy on top of ministry - the year has just been a blur. Can it be that Shiloh will be THREE in a month??? Sometimes I wish I could cause time to stand still. Other times, I'm glad to see a season come to an end. So with much anticipation, I await what the summer will bring and this next stage in our journey called life.

A life of prayer

I was reading Celebration of Discipline yesterday, his chapter on prayer, which was timely considering it was the national day of prayer. I like to pray, especially with my kids. =) But I wouldn't call myself an "intercessor". Or even disciplined in the practice.

I like what Foster has to say on the topic, "prayer catapults us onto the frontier of the spiritual life. Of all the Spiritual Disciplines prayer is the most central b/c it ushers us into perpetual communion with the Father. ... Real prayer is life creating and life changing. 'Prayer - secret, fervent, believing prayer - lies at the root of all personal godliness,' writes William Carey.

To pray is to change. Prayer is the central avenue God uses to transform us. If we are unwilling to change, we will abandon prayer as a noticeable characteristic of our lives. The closer we come to the heartbeat of God the more we see our need and the more we desire to be conformed to Christ."

Ah, to have a more disciplined life of prayer!

A good quote can go a long way!

I borrowed this quote from Jody's blog, I liked it so much! (Thanks, Jody) I think there are days that most of us feel this way. Nouwen is always good. I love his stuff!

"One of the arguments we often use for not writing is this: 'I have nothing original to say. Whatever I might say, someone else has already said it, and better than I will ever be able to.' This, however, is not a good argument for not writing. Each human person is unique and original, and nobody has lived what we have lived. Furthermore, what we have lived, we have lived not just for ourselves but for others as well. Writing can be a very creative and invigorating way to make our lives available to ourselves and to others.

We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told. We may discover that the better we tell our stories the better we will want to live them." Henri Nouwen

A Woman President??

The Parade, in the Sunday paper, ran an article entitled, "Is it time for a woman president? many americans say they are ready to vote for a female candidate." I often think on topics such as this one. The study of feminism is something to which I devote alot of my time. I like reading about the history of women's sufferage. And even moreso, I like to read Christian authors who fall on either side of the camp - traditional and egalitarian.

Those of you who know me well know that I was a feminist when I met and married Steve. Yes, it made for an interesting start to a marriage. Why Steve would choose to marry an androgynous woman - decked out in men's boxers, men's clothing, butch haircut, backward baseball hat, unshaven legs - still remains a mystery to me. Steve was and still is quite traditional. I, at the time, was far from traditional ... in fact back then, I just might have voted for a woman president.

Marriage has been good for me. God has used it to sanctify me in some pretty intense ways! The journey hasn't always been fun - but I like where God has taken me. I have pretty much abandoned my feminist thinking (egalitarianism too) and am more traditional in my thinking now. So now, feminism in any shape or form makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up!

I believe that feminism has taken us far from God's created order. Women leading men? Women protecting and providing for the family? Stay at home dads? It's enough to turn my stomach! I am greived by feminism and what it has done to women AND men, our families, our churches and our nation. There's much to be considered regarding women pastors, the TNIV, a female God, homosexual pastors and more! If I can be so bold, I'm repulsed by the very thought of a woman president! I pray I never live to see the day a woman is leading our nation.

To Do in Order to Be

Yes, I'm still reading "God in Search of Man" by Heschel. Afterall, it's 430 pages and the last half has taken more concentration on my part than the first half. But still a great read nevertheless! I want to share a couple more quotes that I've read the past couple of days.

"Man is not for the sake of good deeds; the good deeds are for the sake of man. Christianity asks for more than works. The goal is not that a ceremony be performed; the goal is that man be transformed; to worship the Holy in order to be holy. The purpose of good deeds is to sanctify man. The more we do for His sake, the more we receive for our sake. What ultimately counds most is not the scope of one's deeds but their impact upon the life of the soul. Man is more than what he does. What he does is spiritually a minimum of what he is. Deeds are outpourings, not the essence of the self. They may reflect or refine the self, but they remain the functions, not the substance of inner life. "

"The reason God commands right action is b/c purity of heart is of no account unless practice is in agreement with it."

"Not the confession of belief, but the active acceptance of the kingship of God and its order is the central demand of Christianity. Asserting "I believe in..." will not make a person a Christian, just as asserting "I believe in the USA" will not make a person an American. A citizen is he who accepts the allegiance to the Constitution, its rights and obligations. Thus our relation to God cannot be expressed in a belief but rather in the accepting of an order that determines all of life."

This has sure made me take a long hard look at my life and ask if I'm practicing what I say I believe. The road of sanctification can be long and painful at times ... but it is an act of worshipping the Holy in order to be holy. May my life be holy in all I say and do.

1Peter 1:14-16 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."